- It is the story of a 3rd generation “firewalker”. You know, people who walk on red hot burning coals. I thought it was a magic trick, but it is the real thing. A while back, I listened to a powerful podcast. I do not remember everything about it, but one story stood out. Let me summarize it:
- It is a fascinating tradition across multiple cultures around the world. No, people are not doing it for views on Instagram. It is typically a religious act and involves a ritual specific to the community
- That 3rd generation fire-walker had been doing it for decades. He was now in his 80’s, and had developed a heart condition. His doctor told him to stop fire walking, otherwise, his heart condition could worsen.
- Most people in this situation would follow the doctor direction to avoid serious consequences. However, this man decided to continue fire-walking. Not because he wasn’t afraid of what would happen if he walked on fire once more, but because he was afraid of what would happen, if he stopped firewalking, something he has done for decades and had a deep meaning in his and his ancestor’s life.
I found that insight profound. Because most people want to avoid risks and are driven by fear. While they are likely to live longer, it may keep them away from exceptional experiences.
No, I am not about to announce that I will firewalk for my next vacation. But I will tell you how it changed my outlook on life and the benefits that come with it.
- I am moving with less fear and doing more of what life has to offer, within my boundaries. I am a 44 years old dad, and yet I roller skate backwards on a downhill next to cars. Certainly not the safest approach to recreational activities. I also have a bunch of injuries. Shoulder blades, knee ache, lower back, etc… Conventional wisdom and my doctor would certainly say that I should take it easy, change activities, etc… I get that it would make my body last longer, but is it more important than the pleasure I get from kick boxing, tennis, volleyball, etc….
- I realized that activities I thought were dangerous, are manageable. My latest experience is scuba diving. I am kind of scared of the sea, when I first scuba dived 15 years ago I was in pain, because I could not equalize my ears. But 15 years later, I was like “fuck it” let’s do it! And I am so happy to have done it!
- Taking calculated risks is contagious. The more I enjoy life, the more I empower people around me to enjoy their life. What do you think happens when my kids see me on the trapeze? They also try the trapeze! This unlock then leads to them feeling confident and they go on stage for a kids’ show and even living their best life during a pool party! It was so beautiful to see them past their zone of comfort and loving it! Same goes for my wife. As soon as I went on the trapeze, she went and did an extra trick on top of the one I did! You know I had to match that!
Instead of spending time listing the challenges of this way of life, I want to share some tips on how to live life to the fullest.
- Set goals: Living life to the fullest, is going beyond your zone of comfort. You are not going to get there by accident. You need to set your target in that direction. This is even more important for our community. Society tries to convince us that we should be happy with less or that we need to work much harder to get half of what other people get. Remember “the only way is up”. Aim high, if you miss the moon you may reach the stars! And never let anyone say that your dreams are too big.
- Take actions: Don’t over think it! Measure your success not based on how many goals you achieve, but the number of scares you get. If you do not fail, your goals were not ambitious enough.
The Black Negotiator 